NKO Club | Vol. 2 Next to you, in MALIBU 🌴

On the eve of Labor Day weekend, we all mourn the “end of summer”, sweaty skin, salty hair and those longer days of sunlight as the crispy air of Fall is set to roll in soon (jk to all our friends in the southern hemisphere who are likely ready for the end of winter!)

Regardless, Labor Day weekend means the “real world” routine will dawn soon and so this week I’m sharing some JOYFUL ways to reframe the turn of the seasons w/ my favorite mental health tip, mocktail recipe (US Open inspired), shopping links, my favorite Pilates Ab burn you can do ANYWHERE, and some commentary on the importance of privacy, learning what boundaries you want to set.

“They can knock you down, but they can NEVER knock you out!”

01 Wellness Spotlight

OCEAN EYES

Y’all this week’s edition is being written from the beaches of Malibu. Yes, the iconic California enclave filled with entertainment industry icons who identify more as surfers dressed in trucker hats, bougie and badass-styled sweat sets and where Sunlife Organics smoothies & grabbing a martini at Lucky’s is typical weekend faire. Yes, it’s better than the movies and yes I fucking love it.

Maybe this JOY is the “Malibu Effect” or maybe it’s that spending time looking or even listening to the ocean helps trigger your body’s parasympathetic nervous system aka the “rest & digest” setting. No this is not a “woo-woo” Californian prescribing beach time but scientific studies show spending time near the ocean, even if through sound scapes and digital screensavers, is good for your mental health. In an excerpt from and older NBC News article  “ The noises — coupled with the visuals — activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is “responsible for slowing us down and allowing us to relax and feel more engaged,” says Sally Nazari, PsyD, owner of Chrysalis Psychological Services and host of the podcast Beyond the Couch.

A study by researchers from Harvard, the University of Massachusetts Medical Schools, and the German Bender Institute of Neuroimaging, showed that regular meditation significantly changes the brain. Specifically, it changes the grey matter concentration in the brain regions associated with learning and memory processes, emotion regulation, and perspective-taking.

So if finding JOY is more difficult than usual with the dawning of a new season, give some ocean sounds and views a chance and take a few minutes to settle into a beach mindset.

GRATITUDE JOURNALING:

If there is ONE singular habit that has ABSOLUTELY CHANGED the game for me from a mental health perspective, it is practicing morning gratitude. Before opening email, social media, or even getting out of bed I write (journal or digitally) THREE THINGS I am grateful for. Now these aren’t just: my life, my dog, my family… I am talking specifics; little singular things that help set the frequency of your brain from the moment you are awake to seeing JOY and abundance with more ease.

Here’s an example of my journal today:

8.30.24 Kendall’s Gratitude:

1. the way the marine layer softens the light as it makes the room glow early in the morning.

2. the joyful time getting to spend LDW with dear friends in a beautiful beach house I always dreamed of spending time in

3. the ROARING sound of the ocean waves as they hit the deck- so powerful

This is my non-negotiable daily practice. Some days are easier than other however by “priming” my brain with goodness, positivity becomes an easier choice than the negative thought spiral and stress that often occurs with my “spicy” brain’s factory preset.

GIVE THIS A TRY all week and let me know how it goes. I would love to feature y’alls experiences and stories in next week edition! Happy gratituding.

03 Nutrition

Honey Deuce Mocktail

If you cannot get to the US Open this year, NO PROBLEM! Enjoy this refreshing mocktail from home and pull up a seat in front of the TV to celebrate in such an exciting sport.

Honey Deuce “Mocktail”

8 oz. San Pellegrino Lemonade (ZERO- sugar)

0.5 oz Raspberry or Blackberry Syrup

0.5 oz Rose’s Grenadine

2-3 Honeydew Melon Balls

Long garnish stick

Playful straws (ideally black and white striped)

Half your honeydew and scoop out the seeds. Using a melon-baller, make as many “tennis ball” melon garnishes as you like (think 2-3 per glass). Using long garnish picks, for each drink, spear 3 melon “balls” and set aside in the fridge.

In a tall glass pour the chilled San Pellegrino Zero Lemonade. Add the Berry Syrup & the Grenadine, mix together using a long spoon. Add a large cupful of ice and mix thoroughly until ultra-chilled. Add your melon garnish on top and a decorative straw. Enjoy!

*optionally to make the drink alcoholic, swap the syrup and grenadine for 1 oz of Chamboard (or your favorite raspberry liquor) and add 1.5 oz of a smooth vodka of your choice.

04 Shopping
Hair care, Transitional fall style, and even a little Malibu Style set (lots of trucker hats)

Shop my LTK site for more.

05 Fitness

06 Slightly-Solicited Opinion

Notes on Privacy

When you have something special, it's sacred. “You have to choose what you hold sacred and when you do PROTECT it. Once it’s shared, it cannot be private in the same way again..” wise words shared to me years ago by my dear friend/mentor, badass icon & Exec Producer/Writer @Teriweinberg. She's the reason we all enjoy comfort shows like The Office, Ugly Betty, Gentefied & more plus her new doc, “A Case for Kindness”. When we need some light in an often-heavy world, these shows always are a warm blanket. When my own world and reach were expanding quickly from my time riding a bike to nowhere at Peloton, she shared this very apt advice I took deeply to heart as I was struggling to navigate vulnerability and the growing pains of my 20’s for lots of people to see week after week.

However, this week I took something very special to me out of the sacred “shadows” and hard HARD LAUNCHED my relationship with Alex. He’s a hell of a man with a heart of gold and a brilliant entrepreneurial mind (check out @alexanderjan — shameless proud girlfriend plug) who has brought so much peace into a very chaotic and candidly wildly stressful/pressured 2024. We recap our thought process as to why we took so much time to build the foundation of our relationship before sharing on this week’s episode of @wholeheartedlypod LINK TO LISTEN HERE.

REMINDER: you do not owe the world, especially the digital one, unbridled access into your life. Boundaries, barriers and privacy are there to protect the things you hold dear and sacred until you feel you are ready or interested in sharing more (maybe you never will). As someone who has built a community by being VERY vulnerable (with my mental health story, my personal life, my career, etc.) with age and hopefully more maturity I have learned to hold some of my cards closer to my chest until I truly feel it’s time to open up.

How do you know you are ready to share MORE of yourself with the world:

1. When it becomes disingenuous to your life to continue keeping something hidden

2. When your experiences can significantly help or support someone/ a community

3. When you feel what you have is built/created on a solid an firm foundation

4. When you can share your news from a place of peace, power and controlling the narrative (always play offense!)

5. If criticism comes from sharing (which it will), will you be able to meet feedback with grace or without allowing the noise to stir up insecurity?

It’s your timeline. It’s your life. If your news, project, relationship status or personal journey is special to you and you are ready to share it a good litmus test is when you can answer YES to the 5 points above. Regardless, do you darling. Always.